This Floating Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the Television Disappointments of the Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the television landscape of the recent year, a handful of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. Ranging from awkward sequels to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with woeful writing, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the third series began, it seemed as if it had at last hit its stride. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the final season. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, fans certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the least of this drama's problems. The recipient of a very rare no-star review, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The hilariously wooden writing? The tedious glorification of affluence and consumption? The almost wilful procession of cliches? Acting so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this series again. However, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the legal troubles, abuse allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive hedonism while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but dismissive egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

MobLand

Shady figures convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just really boring; a dispute over narcotics territory between various London rogues which felt a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee homemaking as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a poster for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly interesting things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series opted not to say them. Rather, the experience was akin to reading a sales brochure. She clearly has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you follow a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from strangely jaunty, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.